


The Seven Laws of Wand Duelling

by uzumaki_rakku



Category: Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling
Genre: Crack, Gen, Humour
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2011-06-19
Updated: 2011-06-19
Packaged: 2017-10-20 13:35:41
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 335
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/213322
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/uzumaki_rakku/pseuds/uzumaki_rakku
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>There are 7 things you must know about wand duelling. The first 6 rules all boil down to this: Always make sure there is a wand in your hand. It's all very simple, really, but people end up learning the hard way. Ah well. The panda eats shoots and leaves?</p>
            </blockquote>





	The Seven Laws of Wand Duelling

**Author's Note:**

> Yes, my dears, a Harry Potter fic from rakku. LE SHOCK.  
> Cracky. Silly. Weird.
> 
> Need I say more?
> 
> ...look, I had a longer fic planned out, but...
> 
> ...
> 
> Well...
> 
> I FAIL.
> 
> XD

The first law of wand duelling is to _always_ make sure there is a wand in your hand.

The second law of wand duelling is to always make _sure_ there is a wand in your hand.

The third law of wand duelling is to always make sure there _is_ a wand in your hand.

The fourth law of wand duelling is to always make sure there is a _wand_ in your hand.

The fifth law of wand duelling is to always make sure there is a wand in _your_ hand.

The sixth law of wand duelling is to always make sure there is a wand in your _hand_.

The seventh law of wand duelling is to always make sure your wand is _pointing_ the right way.

* * *

Explanation:

The first law of wand duelling is to _always_ make sure there is a wand in your hand.  
(Make sure **all** the time.)

The second law of wand duelling is to always make _sure_ there is a wand in your hand.  
(Be **absolutely certain.** )

The third law of wand duelling is to always make sure there _is_ a wand in your hand.  
(If you enter a fight **unarmed...** Hey there stupid, how's it goin'?)

The fourth law of wand duelling is to always make sure there is a _wand_ in your hand.  
(Be sure you are **not** holding a trick wand, rubber chicken, pencil, drumstick, twig, etc.)

The fifth law of wand duelling is to always make sure there is a wand in _your_ hand.  
(If your wand is in your **opponent's** hand... Hmm. Good luck.)

The sixth law of wand duelling is to always make sure there is a wand in your _hand_.  
(Not much use if it's **somewhere else...** say, up your nose, or between your toes, or tangled in your hair, etc.)

The seventh law of wand duelling is to always make sure your wand is _pointing_ the right way.  
(Do not accidentally curse **yourself** , or heal your **opponent**. And yes, it has happened before.)

**Author's Note:**

> If you feel like reviewing, do tell me if the completely WTF? last line in the summary drew you in. XD
> 
> "The panda eats shoots and leaves." - a sentence which can be changed to mean another thing entirely by adding commas: "The panda eats, shoots, and leaves." Y'all probably learnt that in primary school, XD
> 
> So, its relation to this fic is basically: adding different types of word emphasis. Hmm, interesting things can be done by fiddling around with the word emphasis in a sentence. -amused-
> 
> Poor puzzled panda. -nods-
> 
> .
> 
> Thank you for reading this silly silly silly fic? XD
> 
> I should do a series of drabbles on how these rules came about.   
> But right now, rakku shall go... study French. T_T


End file.
